RefGrunt

aka: what I do at work.

There was this webpage I found so so many years ago called refgrunt.
This librarian kept notes of all of his reference desk queries.
So funny and so true.

Mine's not as funny but it gives you an idea of my job. Here's a sample hour from the kids reference desk today:

Stop hitting things with the blow up mallet.
Yes, that is your only warning today.

Wrestling can go outside to the park lads. Look! It's a beautiful sunny day.

Sorry, these computers are reserved for school kids after school hours.
Try the adult section.

Request for an obscure architect.
Catalog decides to go down that very second.
Try the info desk upstairs.

Jeffrey Archer? Level 1.
Under A for Archer.

Sculpture?
730's

Yes you can go study in there, don't mind the closed door.

Turn the volume down girls. There are others trying to work.

Yes the teens look stressed ma'am. They have exams coming up.

Yes, homework and research takes presedence over online gaming.
I can clear a computer for you.

Yes, your toddler can run around - the whole area is theirs!

Maths books?
510.
Times tables?
Lets have a look. Ref dictionary to the rescue.

Discarded a couple of hidden maths books from the 70's found hiding.

Bookseller wheels out his boxes from my office.
Thankyou. Yes see you in May.

No block towers higher than the shortest person kids.
Yes that includes the babies.
Yes it could hurt them if it falls.
Yes that counts for towers made from the soft furnishings.

It should start up again fine. Let me know if it asks for a password.

funnest meme for a while

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Yasmin
Miss Yasmin
Mama

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
Miss Y
Neried
Min

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
my face
My breasts
My skin

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
my mid-back
The way I can’t bite things off with my teeth (they don’t line up so well)
When I get cold sores

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
mary, it’s a mixed bag genetically.
So I’ll say: a propensity to be vague.
A fondness for the colours the world turns at sunset
And a habit of collecting rocks when on holidays
Ha.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
loud noises – esp people yelling
Overcrowded places full of straight people
Having to deal with the budgets at work

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
caffiene
Sugar
love

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
leather wrist band
patent leather mary janes
a purple cardie

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
CocoRosie
Stone Roses
Ali Farka Toure

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (at the moment):
Black Betty – Spiderbait
Werewolf – CocoRosie
Back to Black – Amy Winehouse

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
laughter
Trust
freedom

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
I can’t make up my mind about children
I miss doing bi-activist stuff
I miss swimming and camping

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU: laughing eyes
pronounced female at birth
short grey hair

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
dancing
crochet
Annoying Mr M with hugs and kisses when he’s ‘trying to do some work around here!’

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
See in the bedroom (I changed the lightbulb but it’s still stuffed dammit)
Play dressups for a potential photoshoot tomorrow (can’t because I can’t see in the bedroom dammit)
Sleep.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
Geomorphologist
Truck driver (when I was a kid eh :-)
Professional storyteller

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
camping
To my Da’s place
To a magical place in my head where I feel sane

THREE KID NAMES YOU LIKE:
Tallulah
Sebastian
Lucy

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Go to Antarctica
Find a stonebutch who doesn’t believe I’m just a top *ha ha ha*
Write a book and have it published

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
I have a teacup collection
I love shaking my hips when I dance
I love baking

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
I have a huge mother of a toolbox and love playing with my cordless drill.
I try to give solutions to people’s problems rather than just listen to them and empathise.
I hold open doors and readily give up my seat on public transport. …what?…oh that’s how boys should be….oh dear.

Weekending

This weekend:
- My little brother came by and took his stuff and has fully moved out now. I'm pretty glad he's stayed in the ghetto though, and we haven't lost him to the wilds of bondi or similar.
- We had a new fence built this last week. Or more to the point, the neighbours built one. Gone is the old rickety wonder, all covered in vines, that I loved so much. So Mr M has spent the weekend nailing up lattice and painting it purple and buying rainforest palms and doing similar such things to bring the green and the visual stimulation back for me. Lovekins.
- I went to buy milk, and yesterdays paper, and croissants for breakfast this morning. It was a lovely morning stroll. Paddington style 'cos I had my big straight-girl sunnies on to protect my sore head from the glare.
- I tested out my new custom-made boots last night. A few hours dancing at Phoenix. Not even close to sore and no rubbing. Sweet.
- Heading out to someones' BBQ soon. Get to see Miss L's sister and her son - who Mick sourced and fixed up a bike for. Lovely arvo for a BBQ and friends.
- Oh, and yesterday was a bit of a write off. Haven't experienced such inexplicable anger and rage for a while. All morning I seethed and fumed and punched and cried and kicked and swore. Scared the boy and the dog and a few others again. Glad it's over now though. Weird and upsetting. All sunshine and daisies and rainbows again today though kiddies.
Tra-la-la!

Success! (see previous post)

Haha! So it's not so cold out there, but myself and the simply gorgeous Miss A sat in the pub this evening and drank beer and crocheted and gossiped.
And it was everything wonderful that I'd hoped for.
Not to mention just what my head and heart needed after a painful imploding kind of day. (ouch)
Now I'm happy and home in my jarmies and just watched the tail end of Black Books.
*claps hands*
I hope the rest of the weekend continues on this upwards swing.

Daydreaming of a different kind.

Wool wool wool
crochet crochet crochet
Where's winter?
I want to sit in a cozy pub, (on low chairs, not those high bastard stools that you need a ladder and gymnastics experience to get onto them), with a large beer. Maybe a stout even. Or a red wine. Yes! Red wine, with the bottle on the table.
And I want to sit and natter to friends and crochet-o-rama into the night.

Of course, when we do get to winter I'll probably be pissed off at the cold, and freeze under a lap rug in my little icy terracehouse.
Ah well. *shrugs*

All stirred up.

Today at work an email came through from another organisation introducing their new staff member that was a woman I once worked with. She was, in hindsight and not only by my estimation, an office psychopath. Even seeing her name has stirred up all sorts of stuff. And starting from today's unsteady footing already, it wasn't pretty.

But I did get a lot of thinking done about where I'm at, I must admit.

Once upon a time...
There was this woman who had what I perceived to be an upsetting habit of consistently saying one thing and doing another. Her actions always betraying her carefully chosen words. I don't believe this was badly intentioned. It just was what it was.
In fact, I have a hunch that from her perspective it came from a good place in the end. But at the time it upset me and I was ungenerously cranky about it.


And today on the wet crowded train platform coming home from work I realised that I was guilty of the same thing. Stone cold guilty. Yep indeed... that old chestnut of 'whatever upsets you in someone is a reflection of something in yourself'.


I realised that there was something I had in the past said in all clarity and ernestness to someone, that I should have meant. But I didn't actually mean. And I believe I was also betrayed by my actions. And it has taken me some time now to realise what I actually think and feel.
And now I'm not sure if I'm stupid for not working it all out sooner.
Or just lucky I didn't.
I think I'm filing this one under 'lucky' for now.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep

Back at work is yucky today. I brought my bad mood along for the ride, and even doing storytime isn’t dragging me free of it.
Having a little fun though... planning the making softies with the kids next school holidays.
I’ll put some photos up of my practice creations soon.

Thankyou’s go out to the 2 lovely lads who bled for me yesterday. Such different skin and designs and energies. But both marvellous.

And now here’s a poem I can’t believe I haven’t come across before.
*breathes out*

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of the easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.



Edit: And here's a lovely quote I've also just chanced across...
"Keep your weakness intact. Don't try to acquire strengths, above all those that aren't for you, not meant for you, that nature has preserved you from, preparing you for something else."
- Henri Michaux

xx
-Miss Y

Nothing interesting. Just blah.

Had a great dance at Civil Disobedience last night. We were glad the music picked up a little, to make the trip to a different part of the city worth while. And there was a little bit of eyecandy around. Almost enough to keep me entertained and not think, though fortunately not so much that I went into sugar shock.

One day left of my holiday now.
It's felt like one really, really big weekend. Hanging out with the boy and dog at home. Catching up with the family. Going out dancing at night. Not getting enough housework done.

I think next holiday I'll need to go away somewhere to make it feel different.

On a different note. I finally sat down and downloaded all the photos off my phone.
Here's a few from the last year:


On a train on a sunny summers afternoon I thought I could smell amyl... The drink can, condom packet and sticky floor just added to the whole atmosphere...















From a poster exhibition at QAG...photo taken for Miss A, but I keep forgetting to send it to her. Here you are darlin'...














Puppies relaxing for a split second on a recent beer and crochet visit to the park... Hurrah for Kelpie ears!














My teensy contribution to the great masses of Mardi Gras 08 photos...













A business man having a quiet breakdown at the library... I was wasn't feeling so good that day myself, and strangely it was comforting that I wasn't alone in having rough days. He up and left quickly as I packed up my lunch things, so I didn't even get a chance to get closer to see if he was in real strife or even give him a smile.

My sisters' pup when it was little. Looking a tad quietly freaked out by me approaching...

.

Equinox moon or something bigger entirely?

There's these new big energies in my life lately. And crazy dreams that make me want to try hard to remember them because there was something urgent in them I felt I needed to know.


And nights of strange social encounters that remind me of years ago. Different ways of interacting with people than in recent years past.
There's a sense of frantic movement forward. And most things are looking up.

I feel like I'm running along side something big and still trying to keep things together. Trying to fit in the mundane (vacuuming, eating meals at home, charging my phone) amongst this surging sensation.


Does anyone else feel it?
Or is it just in me?

.

What's my safeword?

I don't think I can do much more of this...
2 days of wedding dress shopping with the straight girl, and then a day at the easter show.

I am such a goddamn snob, but I really do think I've knocked shoulders with enough straight people in the last few days to last me quite a while thank you very much.

This is not what I meant by masochism.

In some strange way I have had an afternoon taster of the straight world again.
I remember this weird place. It's like wearing an ill-fitting jacket while everyone tells you that it looks great on you, and hey they're wearing one too, and don't we all look so fantastic together!
*sighs*

Anyway. I think this arvo was the universe easing me into this world before the next 2 days of wedding dress shopping with my straight-girl sister and my mother (sis is the one getting married btw. Ma has already had 3 cracks at that version of fun).

Straight-girl gave me a pedicure voucher for my birthday. After months of putting it off, I went in this afternoon. Mainly to play nice, because she would be soooo excited tomorrow to see me with painted toenails. And the nicer I play, the more likely I get a say in what dress I have to 'bridesmaid' in (No. I don't want to talk about it okay.)

So I'm sitting in a weird massage chair, kinda trying to go with the flow, but it's obvious that I'm a fish out of water. Everyone else seems to know what is happening and expects me to as well. There's a little bit of nail clipping and foot massage. But then most unnerving thing happens - the lady looks at the bottom of my feet, pulls a face, and then takes to them with a GODDAMN CHEESE SLICER and full sheets of skin are falling on the floor! WTF!

By the way, my feet are not that awful. I do walk around outside without shoes sometimes. They aren't calloused or anything. Yet still the lady decided they were not as baby soft and pink as they should be.

I topped off the afternoon-immersion in the straight world by reading one of those Cleo/Cosmo mags while waiting for the nail polish to dry.
Almost as scary as the cheese slicer.

My nerves are a bit shattered and I need to gather myself before tomorrow's 'fun'.
Please, dear friends, do come and have a beer with me at the Sly tomorrow evening. I think I'm going to need some crazy queer times to balance myself a bit.

Body conciousness

Cashed in a massage gift voucher from Mr M yesterday.
Fantastic massage. Reiki, the works. Awesome.
But later that arvo, crashed with a massive headache. Boo.
Too much unravelling in one sitting.

Still, 'twas interesting the attention on each body part, that brought back (sometimes strange) body memories.
Knees remembering dancing for 2 days at Tropical Fruits...how could they forget really.
Upper chest remembering a rope corset from 6 years ago.
Shins will probably always remember that tumble, 4 years ago.

And it was wonderful being brought back even more to my body. I can forget to focus on it sometimes.
All the time.
Ignoring it. Using it for others. Out of bed to look after people. Forget the sore wrist to help carry something. Ignore the headache to stay talking.
Even the cutting that I love so so much, as toppy as it is, it is still in a way service to others. So much energy building up, with no real release.

I need to experience more pain and joy in this body. I need to inhabit it more.
I see so many friends capable of doing this. The way the dress themselves, exercise in different ways, and clearly put themselves out there for play.
I have a hunch it's time for me to sort this out eh.

4 years ago

Somewhere about this time of year, in the vague weeks following mardi gras, I tottered over to House of Femme for a impromptu cocktail party of sorts.
After a few blue-coloured alcoholic beverages later, I did a costume change and staggered in too-big shoes with a gaggle of darling friends to the Impie for someshowIcan'tquiterememberwhat.

And we flitted and flirted and drank much much more and clapped for the people on the stage.
And then, sometime after midnight, when most of my friends had left, this cute fellow walked in.
I found that I fit under his arm just so and got the giggles.

He walked me home, and when he came in for a glass of water, I locked him in the house until I got a goodnight kiss.
I still remember reaching up my left hand and feeling the stubble on his jaw.

He ran away, mumbling something about 'Uni tomorrow'. But he came back another time, and is still hanging around after all these years.
He says he loves me, and I say I love him.
I think we both mean it.
*grins*
Happy Anniversary Mr M.

Walking home from the pub

on this warm autumn evening, I turn into a back street. Trees obscure the street lights, and everything's quiet except for the lazy sound of cicadas. Suddenly I'm dreaming about camping with you.
You. Taking the sticks I've collected from my arms and squatting down to build a fire.
Going to bed early in a deserted national park camping ground.
Me, tidying the rumpled sleeping bags while you make the morning cuppa.
And then I walk around the corner, into the lights and traffic and people of King St, and my dream dissolves with a hiss in the hard acidity of reality.

Aaaahhhh!

Time to breathe out a little.
Have some wee holidays for the next week or so.
Started this morning with some delightful recutting on the gorgeous tummy of Ms J. Followed by fresh cupcakes and a cup of tea.
What a wonderful way to kick off the break.
Next is haircuts and massages and other such fun, before some distinctly hetero family time.
If anyone is out and about during the day next week, drop me a line and let's catch up over a coffee.
Hurrah for holidays!

So many things to write about...

So point form it is:

- Operation Sane Grey is working quite well. Still having big problems with my memory though. But it's been more a case of bad days versus bad weeks, lately. This is refreshing.

- Threatened managers at work with a big stick called 'workcover regulations' last week. Amazing how fast they can move.

- Was laid low with that same cold that everyone got. Fortunately over it in a few days. Now nursing Mr M through it's last rallying cry.

- Definition of frustration: being asked by a delicious butch to do a skin removal.
When they are next in town.
Which is next year.
*waaaaa*

- Am pleasantly surprised by the addition of Union Picnic Day and the Easter long weekend to my 4 days leave. Now I have a week and a half hols. Am very pleased with my luck. Very, very pleased.

- Looking forward to catching up with my Ma during these hols. Also have to go wedding dress shopping with Ma and my sister. My sister said she would understand if I couldn't go the distance because of the amount of white-frillies to contend with. Mr M said I could borrow his hip flask. Expect to see a dizzy Miss Y wandering down Parramatta Rd in the midday sun next Wednesday.

- I've been making felt toys at work. Also called softies, felties, and felt stuffies. They are very cute. My favourite so far has been the dead squid. Yeah, I know, I've got a shit job *he he*.

- Picked up the crochet again when I was down sick last week. Am enjoying myself immensely. And am surprised at how much I remember. Yay me.

That's all for now.

cranky pants

But let's start with a happy:
It has been pointed out to me that the Chief of Parade this year is bisexual.
And then I thought, hang on, wasn't that Ian Harvie siting next to her?

It warms the cockles of my heart that a bi girl and a tranny boy where up there.
Saddens me to think that it probably wasn't some sort of conciliatory hug from NMG.
Did you see the whitewash history that the FG magazine did on the history. The 'B' word was almost entirely missing. As was the part about not letting Bisexuals join Mardi Gras for years. Biphobic prats.

I get so het up at this time of year. Memories of caring what the Mardi Gras org and the general queer community think about bisexuals. Memories of burning the candle at both ends trying to produce community events and floats that where slick and cool enough to perhaps win some begrudging acceptance.
I get sad that I no longer am apart of this big wonderful festival each year. But I can't get too close again at this stage. Too ouchy.

And I am reminded also how much I love my friends and their friends and the whole queer world we have created for ourselves here. Where it doesn't matter if I wear a frock or live with a boy or like to make people bleed in my spare time.
Indeed, it's celebrated.
And built upon.
And outshone in wonderful ways by the lives and mischief that everyone else gets up to.

Yeay for our people!
Fancy this post ending on a happy note.
*takes off cranky pants*
*blushes*

flipsides

I was lucky enough to tie up a friend in rope for her parade outfit. A lovely white rope corset over her black outfit.
And then I served peanut butter and honey sandwiches cut into quarters to her and her scout boy butch.

We took photos of them with their bike on the street and all the neighbours came out into the sunshine. Dykes and poofs from every direction. Another couple of friends down the street, one with her own bike, also ready to ride off.
And then they rode off and it was over and the street was empty and quiet and suburban again.

We decided at the last minute to watch the parade, so taxied off, collecting Mr L on the way (a smart move as he plied us with vodka based drink and so much witty commentary. Bless)
Probably not the most awesome idea as Mr M is now home with a chest infection. Curse those cool night breezes.

Wandered through the post apocalyptic landscape that was Flinders post parade to find a strange alternative party.
From the entry queue with added fish smell from the restaurant next door, to the jarring echoey sound bouncing back off the walls, and the squeezy strange spaces, we decided to call it an early night.

Gurlesque was all sorts of wonderful. From the out of town eye-candy to the seating with a view of the stage, and the fantastic boi strippers. Pity I drank full strength not light though. I have a feeling I could've done better not being so fractured and talkative and loud. Aah well.

Todays picnic was a delight of sunshine and dogs and so many of my favourite people. The Zen-pup was much better behaved than I thought she'd be. Pity our evil plans for scaring people didn't come to fruition.

Now to get ready for work tomorrow. Where all manner of political intrigue awaits me. What strange decisions will the management have made in my absence today? Do I really want to know? *sighs* I hate this post party smack in the guts by reality.