All stirred up.

Today at work an email came through from another organisation introducing their new staff member that was a woman I once worked with. She was, in hindsight and not only by my estimation, an office psychopath. Even seeing her name has stirred up all sorts of stuff. And starting from today's unsteady footing already, it wasn't pretty.

But I did get a lot of thinking done about where I'm at, I must admit.

Once upon a time...
There was this woman who had what I perceived to be an upsetting habit of consistently saying one thing and doing another. Her actions always betraying her carefully chosen words. I don't believe this was badly intentioned. It just was what it was.
In fact, I have a hunch that from her perspective it came from a good place in the end. But at the time it upset me and I was ungenerously cranky about it.


And today on the wet crowded train platform coming home from work I realised that I was guilty of the same thing. Stone cold guilty. Yep indeed... that old chestnut of 'whatever upsets you in someone is a reflection of something in yourself'.


I realised that there was something I had in the past said in all clarity and ernestness to someone, that I should have meant. But I didn't actually mean. And I believe I was also betrayed by my actions. And it has taken me some time now to realise what I actually think and feel.
And now I'm not sure if I'm stupid for not working it all out sooner.
Or just lucky I didn't.
I think I'm filing this one under 'lucky' for now.