"So three cheers...

...for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake..."
('Penis Song' - Monty Python)

Oh I've certainly got cock on the brain at the moment.
"He hard packs all the time" one friend tells me.
"Have a look at these dildos" another friend emails me.

So while looking at one of the websites mentioned I come across a section of vegan friendly products.
Slightly snickering about the I'm-going-to-forgoe-meat-of-all-kinds-and-save-the-world concept; I click through to chance across the wonder that is...
organic homeopathic vegan lubes!
Oh I kid you not, gentle reader.
Looky.

And they come in 4 different formulas: feminine, masculine, menopause, and (the wonderfully titled) lucious flower libido formula!
I laugh for a while. But then also note with interest that the 'menopause' formula is "also highly recommended for any transitioning FtMs who are beginning to go on testosterone".

Also (and this goes out to alienkiss especially), they have vegan-friendly harnesses, restraints, (not that she couldn't whip up something better in no time at all anyway) and other small products like vegan chocolate body paint.

Who knew that edible undies were vegan eh!

*************
In other news, I wore a frilly and totally frivolous, red and white, summer frock today.
I think many people where still in winter mode as there were quite a few 'I love your dress' comments.
But after 2 days of walking around in jeans and sneakers in the glorious sunshine, I wasn't going to let a 3rd day slip by without femming it up a bit.

Grateful.

There are times in your life where, as intolerably happy as one is, you can still get hit in the gut by the ghost of times past.
Sometimes I am quite heartily reminded of all those who I used to hang out with, but are now moving in different social circles to me.

So this post is a 'thankyou post' to all my friends who are still by me.

Thankyou to friends who meet up with me for a drink now and then.
Thankyou for sms'ing me asking if I'd like to catch up.
Thankyou for checking in with me and listening to me vent and rant.
Thankyou for sharing your stories of your lovers and costumes and histories and, yes, even the mundane stories of your daily lives.
Thankyou for sticking with me even when I'm weird, or messed up, or am letting life get to me too much.
Thankyou for reminding me about the great party/club night coming up.
Thankyou for dancing with me.
Thankyou for letting me cut your skin.
Thankyou for listening to me debrief after a day at work.
Thankyou for taking a photo of me.
Thankyou for the hugs and kisses.
Thankyou for the dinner invites.
Thankyou for the walking and talking.
Thankyou for making me laugh.
Thankyou for cooking for me.
Thankyou for being there when I have dramas.
Thankyou for saying hello on the street.
Thankyou for the beer.
Thankyou for accepting me, and (even if you don't agree with or approve of it) for accepting my life as I choose to live it.
Thankyou for supporting me.

I know I can be a bit of an idiot sometimes, so thanks for sticking around guys.
*hugs*

When I was a teenage girl, I was a dirty old man...

Today a strange little poem popped into my head and made it onto paper.
It had the just same rhythm to a poem from "The Mersey Sound".



















Penguin modern poets 10: The Mersey Sound. 1967. Henri, A. McGough, R. & Patten, B. Harmondsworth, Eng. : Penguin Books.

But I couldn't remember which of the 3 poets in the book wrote the poem. Roger McGough, Brian Patten, or Adrian Henri?
And I couldn't find a copy of the poem I wanted in my library or on databases or on the internet.
So I get home only to find that my copy of the book has gone walkabout. And I am so sad. Because it is the most wonderful book.
My god. Copies are listed on bookfinder for $15 - $40.
A slim little paperback, published in the 60's, that changed so many lives.

Funnily enough, I often come across the poets' names as the authors of kids' books. I always buy them for the library of course.

Anyway, here is how I remember the poem from the book:

There's something sad
about the glass with the lipstick on
that's pointed at with disgust
and sent back to the kitchen,

Like the girl with the hare lip
whom nobody wants to kiss.

I think I read this poem (and much of the book) hundreds and hundreds of times when I was a teenager.

And here is the strange half-poem that popped into my head today:

There's something sad
about a mutual crush
that fades beyond it's use by date.
Sweet smiles and the raising of eyebrows,
hoping to rekindle the buzz.

Like last weeks dessert,
that shouldn't be eaten.
Pulled from the freezer with the idea of reheating.

Not really earth shattering poetry. But I enjoyed the rhythm of it.

Another fave (oh I have so many!) from The Mersey Sound is one with the line "Mrs Albion, you have such lovely daughters". Which goes on to singing the praises of these young girls with slits in their panties.
And I remember that line every single time I go near or down Albion St in Surry Hills.
*Oh Mrs Albion, you have such lovely daughters!*

I worried, when younger and reading these poems written about nubile young lassies, by gents in the 1960's.
And I agreed with their sentiments as I sat reading the book in the playground in high school.
Leaning up against a tree and watching my friends flit around each other in their modified uniforms.
Yet also aware that there are blokes out there thinking the same about us girls. Dreadfully conflicting stuff.
How far could I condemn the guy stalking me in the park, who turned and followed me because I wasn't wearing a bra, when I myself thought about doing the same thing to other girls.

Sounds like fun.

This is why paper cuts are so bad.

Lately I'm liking the idea of paper rising up and cutting people as revenge on people who cut paper.

Could make for a great B-grade pulp novel.

Oh my! And I'd have to have a cover drawing of a books flying at a panicked buxom semi-naked librarian!
*grins*

Yesterday Morning

The cool ice of the morning breeze across the park.

I pull the collar of my jacket up
and stride across the road.
The determined sound of my work shoes clopping,
belie the shaky hesitancy of my emotions today.

I button my jacket up like a hug and I walk towards
the main road,
towards the bus stop,
towards the sound of car horns celebrating which ever team it is that has just won the world cup.

Two men lope across the park, draped in flags,
smiling and laughing
they leap around each other and hoot at the sky.
I feel sad that I can't share their mood.

But when I look at the sky I see a plane heading west
and believe you are on it
and my heart crumples a tiny bit.

I continue to stride towards my day,
knowing that everything's going to be okay, even though there's a you-sized gap in my fabric of friends.

Medicorama!

I have a friend who has allowed me to join them when they go to get their testosterone pellets implanted.
3 times now.

It's a fabulous procedure that involves local anasthetic, scissor-things to open the cut in the skin, punchy tube-things that they push into the muscle, and stick-things that they use to tamp the pellets (as you would with shot in old guns/muskets).

The first time I went, I tried to not get in the way and consequently didn't see much.
When the staff explained, on the 2nd visit, that it's not for the squeamish and that I may faint, my friend told them not to worry 'cos "...she's a bit weird".
Now I've been a 3rd time I probably should stop going along.
I think the staff are a bit suss on me. They were talking about Sadism.
If I go along another time it's just gonna be plain odd.

In good news (sorta): I resisted the impulse to lift much medical equipment while they were out of the room!

In related-ish news: there's a stall at the Rozelle markets that has old dental tools for sale. Mirrors on sticks, clampy scissor-things, scraping tools. Oh boy.
I don't have a dentist-fear-thing happening myself - but imagine the head-fuck possibilities in a scene with someone who did!

Shhh now.

This week has been the sort of week that you need a lot of good sleep to deal with.
However it has also, alas, been one that has left me with a massive sleep deficit.

I'm hoping we will all have a quiet week now.
Just so we can all recover a bit.

*breathes*