Still going.

*moop* Still a little too under the weather to go out tonight.
Trying to be a sensible girl is wreaking havoc with my social life. Oh why does LPW always clash with YWA.
I was looking forward, tonight, to wearing old leathers to a new bar and breaking in a new space with the girls. Instead I will at least spend some time tonight (between eating healthy dins, wearing warm flannies, and taking my vitamins) brainstorming something to wear to Inqui.
Tomorrow is domestic bliss. And Sunday...is, well, more domestic bliss ...with added non-bio family dins in the eve.
It's the quiet life for Miss Y for the time being.
For now.
*evil grins*

Hmmm.

Inqui is fast approaching.
What on earth am I going to wear.
No time to make anything. Probably not even time to buy anything.
All my energy is going into getting through busiest work week of the year and trying to stay physically and mentally healthy until Inqui.
Staying warm. Shorter social engagements. Sleeping lots. Eating well. The occasional beer (but that's part of my mental health plan I promise *grins*).
I will make to the Inqui dancefloor.
I will find a dress to wear to the ball.
I will.
*stamps pretty princess shoe*

Wedding red.

Stuck at home with a twisted ankle. Vaccillating between boooored, and upbeat & working hard.
Received delivery of more lovely at-home-on-a-weekday treats of the Livingstone kind.
Chlorhexidine 'tinted pink', and 'evacuated blood collection tubes'.
oooh, yummo.
Now if only the sutures will arrive before the day is out. Been waiting weeks for them. *sighs*

Did some work from home. Tried to coordinate work colleagues from home with limited success. Shall be trying to limp in tomorrow. The less-walking route to work involves more transport changes and takes longer, but hey, I'm gonna be a R.I.C.E queen for a couple more days so am not attempting the hill up to the library in the morning.

Thank you to all folks who've wishes Mr M and I the best re: the engagement-thingy. It's so sweet how everyone gets excited about it.
Next hurdle is telling work. Midweek I think. I have to prepare answers for all the excitable middle-aged, middle-class women and their inevitable questions.
When is the wedding?
What will you wear?
Should I tell them we'd like a spring wedding? ...Or that it'll only happen when it's legal 'cos we're second class citizens?
Shall I tell them I'm deciding on an ivory dress over a white one? ...Or tell them it'll be a rockabilly wedding with all the guests in drag?
Shall I play nice? Or go Raaarr!
It's an interesting thing to think about. I shy away from the overtly political stuff these days. But I am also deeply conscious that by just living our lives in the way that we choose; we are being political. We don't strive to make our lives a statement, but our choices, decisions and tastes make them for us.

Oh hey! Now here's a thought!
I wonder if Livingstone does wedding gift registeries?
*shivers with glee*

Institutionalise me!

To an ex who said I wasn't wife material, I say Ha!
Apparently I am.

Of what quality I am unsure, but Mr M seems to fancy me enough to think that he'd like to hang 'round with me for an unfathomably long length of time.

So yes, dear friends, he proposed last weekend and I said yes.

I shall probably joke about it a lot and be dismissive of the whole thing. But don't take this for me being unsure or anything. This is just me trying to make sense of an idea that I've never really thought of before in my life.

He is my dearest love and I adore him.
And legalities be damned; I think to stand up together and tell everyone about our love is a bloody marvellous reason to have a party.

What's that?

What's that?
...you say you hear a cracking sound?
Like eggshell against porcelain, or glass being ground underfoot, or a tail-light being touchparked.
Like the peeling open of stiff plastic packaging, or a bike wheel over seedpods?
Nope. Tonights secret sound is actually the sound of Miss Y's brain breaking.

You know, I like being pushed forward. I like some challenges now and then. And I hate being bored.
But sometimes, when I have only the barest of gossamer of framework for things, it can be very difficult to contain it in any possible way in my brain/actions/day/life.

I might have some big news.
But I need some times to let it take shape and settle in my head first.

*twitches*

*quiet happy squeaks*

Had a very good night and a lovely sunny morning.
Feeling pretty good indeed.
But, shhh, I'm just going to spend the day doing some work, and just wait and see what the future holds.
Just going to go about my business quietly, trying hard to not self sabotage.
(And maybe skip and sing at times).

*meep*

Can you feel it coming.

There's so much on at the moment. Grand projects coming to fruition, small plans growing, consolidation of collaborations started a short while ago.
There's a sense of energy building up.
Sometimes I get carried away in the excitment of it all...energised by the possibilities.
And other times it bears down on me...the weight of expectations and the sheer volume of work.

But today, my focus point is not the big picture but the small matter of an icy cold front coming through.
This morning is sunny and wonderful, padding around in our pyjamas, hanging out the washing in the backyard, the dog lying in a patch of light under the camelia trees.
And tomorrow will likely be colder and darker and wetter.
I can snuggle in my new purple fluffy thing bought by my lover-boy and drink warm drinks.
I can enjoy the cold. I know I can. But I'm grasping onto this shining morning and bracing myself for this approaching winter.

It's trying.

Trying hard to stay determined to get through the next month. So much on. So much to do.
Trying hard to organise everything at work so it doesn't fall in a heap on top of me.
It's taking lots of energy today. Energy that I don't seem to have at the moment.
Each thing I try and get out of the way seems to create space for sooo many more other tasks and projects to rush in. Like some uber-vacuum.
Here's hoping tomorrow is better.
Here's hoping everything goes to plan.
Meanwhile...one step in front of the other...one keystroke ahead of another...tick one thing off the list before tackling the others...

I really could do with a nap.

Energy needed.

Such a long long busy busy day at work today. Home very late to a wonderful beef and lentil stew with brown rice cooked by my darlin' boy. Just what I need.
I'm feeling so tired and drained.

Feeling the weight of many expectations and plans starting to build up. It's going to take a lot of hard work to get through the next month in one piece.
I am determined though.

Oh. And I'm looking for an illustrator. Preferably with a hand for realistic (old school or twee) people. I have a cheeky project I really need to see through soon if possible.

Now that I think of it. There's not many projects I think up that aren't cheeky really.
It's tough inside this ol' head of mine sometimes. *grins*

Mama's Day

Yep. A perfect Mama's Day.
An early night beforehand.
A walk in the morning sunshine with the pup to the shops to get baking supplies.
A sleepy boy in his pyjamas.
A card and a box of chocolates.
Decorating cupcakes for the mother in-law with red sugar sprinkles.
Phoning the other 2 mothers.
Pack the boy and dog off to his folks for lunch.
Run around the house playing dressups to loud music.
Boy with a quiff knocks on the door and with the ultimate yummy mummy we all travel down to Bad Dog.
Beers in the last of the day's sunshine with all my fabulous, and fabulously dressed, friends.
Great conversations, dancing, flirting, laughing, posing.
Sitting on laps, whispering secrets, talking dirty, making plans.
Dancing contained and dancing loud.
Then into the night for a gossipy cab ride to another venue. More dancing. But slimmer pickings and not as blowsy and awesome. Jacket and tiara back on and home I travel.

Completely exhausted this morning. But so very happy.
Last night I dreamt of mint green hankies and picture books.
*sighs*

Come on. I'll have ya!

Traditionally this week is one of the more stressful weeks of my working year.
I usually am in a total tizz, and more than a bit strung out.

Strangely - or wonderfully - I've been okay this year. And this makes me really happy.
And it's not for want of the universe throwing curve balls at me. Big mother curve balls!
But I think it's running out of ammo. All today held was an agro patron, a workmates hissy-fit-meltdown, and a couple of square metres of baby vomit. Who knew that such a small thing could hold so much volume. And all over the books too. What a stinky clean-up. Eeeew.
At least in my next performance review I can surely say I've fulfilled "other duties as required".

In more frivolous news, I have plans for a Bad Dog costume.
Sure most of my costume plans don't come to fruition. But just maybe I'll have time to sort this one.

Oh, and I think Mr M and I might actually go on a real holiday sometimes soon!
*fingers crossed*

winter warmer worries

So. Let's get this straight.
I can crochet.
I can do fancy stitches, go in many directions, make shapes, follow patterns. You get the drift.
But I have spent the last three weeks going mental trying to crochet a goddamn egg cozy.
It shouldn't be that hard.
I'm obviously blocked on something.
Terribly annoying.
But hey, if that's the worst I have to worry about*, then I'm doing okay.



*it's not, but I'm moving through the other stuff at a good pace, so it'll be okay.

Everyone should have a good cuppa tea.

Today in the Library I had to deal with a mother having a complete meltdown. She was hurting so much, and was sadly aiming it at another mother.
So much pain and yelling and crying and shaking and stress.
At least her baby was alright. And the other mother was okay as well.

But later I was surprised at how much it had affected me. My adrenal response was over the top and it took quite a while, and some later tears of my own, before I shakily regained a little equilibrium.

But then I decided to run away from work even earlier than planned and caught up with the delicious Miss A for a cup of tea in the sunshine, and then a spot of crocheting.

Simply delightful, and it totally worked.
It's the small things sometimes.

scattered.

The house smells of metho this morning as Mr M cleans furiously.

I had a great dance last night.

I really could do with more sleep.

My head is ticking furiously over possible negotiations for next weekend.

I'm missing a judge for my young writers award at work.

Careless of me, I know.

It's going to be an interesting week.