This is not what I meant by masochism.

In some strange way I have had an afternoon taster of the straight world again.
I remember this weird place. It's like wearing an ill-fitting jacket while everyone tells you that it looks great on you, and hey they're wearing one too, and don't we all look so fantastic together!
*sighs*

Anyway. I think this arvo was the universe easing me into this world before the next 2 days of wedding dress shopping with my straight-girl sister and my mother (sis is the one getting married btw. Ma has already had 3 cracks at that version of fun).

Straight-girl gave me a pedicure voucher for my birthday. After months of putting it off, I went in this afternoon. Mainly to play nice, because she would be soooo excited tomorrow to see me with painted toenails. And the nicer I play, the more likely I get a say in what dress I have to 'bridesmaid' in (No. I don't want to talk about it okay.)

So I'm sitting in a weird massage chair, kinda trying to go with the flow, but it's obvious that I'm a fish out of water. Everyone else seems to know what is happening and expects me to as well. There's a little bit of nail clipping and foot massage. But then most unnerving thing happens - the lady looks at the bottom of my feet, pulls a face, and then takes to them with a GODDAMN CHEESE SLICER and full sheets of skin are falling on the floor! WTF!

By the way, my feet are not that awful. I do walk around outside without shoes sometimes. They aren't calloused or anything. Yet still the lady decided they were not as baby soft and pink as they should be.

I topped off the afternoon-immersion in the straight world by reading one of those Cleo/Cosmo mags while waiting for the nail polish to dry.
Almost as scary as the cheese slicer.

My nerves are a bit shattered and I need to gather myself before tomorrow's 'fun'.
Please, dear friends, do come and have a beer with me at the Sly tomorrow evening. I think I'm going to need some crazy queer times to balance myself a bit.