So many endings and new beginnings.

I always seem to drop off on the blogging in summer. Perhaps just too much going on, and too many emotions whirling around. The latter is definitely the case this time. Am home sick because I've got myself all worked up about things.
On top of Christmas and New Year and January's party and birthday rush...

Now tomorrow is my birthday.
I do love having birthdays. The excitement of wondering what the next year might hold for me. Looking back at how much fun I had the year before. Looking back at the grand arc that has been the rest of my life; the way it curves and moves in the light. The directions it's taken and the adventures that have been had.

I've been really really enjoying my life the last 6 years. I think Saturn's Return hit early, and now, there's an overwhelming feeling of a year of big things ahead for me - like a last kick up the bum for all the changes I put into play in my life 6 years ago. I know 'may you live in interesting times' is said to be a Chinese curse. But come on folks - we all know I'd be bored otherwise.

So let the interesting times roll!

Tomorrow.
On my birthday.

But until then I have an evening stretching ahead of me for lots of thinking and remembering.
I have found myself this year becoming someone I barely recognise at times. I look at what's happening in my life; the fabulous people I call my friends; the adventures we get up to; the parties; the costumes; the lives we've constructed for ourselves... and it just seems so magical and amazing. It's like some mythical world the child me could only dream of. And here it is, shining right in front of us.

On the weekend I'm having a picnic in a park to celebrate turning 33. We get to picnic in a beautiful park. We can bring our dogs and let them run free. We can bring food and drink and alcohol. We can talk about whatever we want. We can be openly, wonderfully, queer.
There are so many places in the world where this is not possible.
And I am so bloody grateful that we live in this wonderful part of this city, in this wonderful part of the world.
Being able to live our lives in ways of our choosing.
Sure there'll be folks out there who could find a million things to criticise about our current situation. But right now I'd rather focus on the amazing things.
It's my birthday after all.

Things I've loved about this year:
- Dancing and dressups
- Meeting and connecting with new delicious people
- Writing a sex tips column
- Mr M hitting his stride with his work and health.
- Getting Sane (this was sooo not overrated! If you haven't tried it, give it a burl)
- Puppy Love
- That time I stopped caffiene and the other time I stopped sugar.
- Crochet & picnics in the park.
- All the times that my heart sang and my body buzzed.
- Ack, of course there's more, but I got a headache so it's slow going in there today...

(Man, this is turning out to be a terribly positive post for someone who's spent a week or 2 in an awful rotten headspace)

Orright.
Enough already.
More later I expect.

Yay!

*plotz*

*plotz*

*plotz*

I am a lucky happy girl.

Oh sure, there are ten thousand dramatic tales from December and New Years'. But right now I am just feeling very cheery and special and totally not anxious about the world and dreadfully, dreadfully excited about the adventures the new year will hold.

*wiggles*

Giftmas

Have decided I will put a ban on girly pressies for upcoming birthday.
Now have makeup, bathrobe (pink!), cookbooks, frilly knickers, bathstuff, facial vouchers, chocolates, teacups, jewellery, dresses, etc.
All thought about carefully, given with love, and extremely lovely. I'm delighted to receive them.
But for someone who is new to this uber-girly stuff, it's a tad overwhelming.
A small tsunami of societal assumptions/obligations/expectations.
Now I think about it - am surprised I didn't get any candles.

On the upside; Mr M did do well with gifting me a delicious tough black leather bag though. *drools happily*

Making time for dreams.

Okay - so I didn't get my November novel finished this year.
I didn't have a clear plan; wasn't reading for the starting pistol; and then the story took me into areas that I wasn't comfortable with. But I did get some short stories done, and worked on a picture book as well.
Not anywhere near the 50 000 word goal. But any writing is better than none.

Now, NaNoWriMo is a weird and rewarding experience. Basically you cut all the extraneous activities from your life and focus all spare energies on writing furiously for a month.
It's a wonderful new headset to be in.
And following from this year, there's been an email sent out by the fulla that makes the Nano magic happen, that points out how we can get limited by our regular lives and jobs...

(snipped from his email)
"Whatever you think you are, you are more than that. You possess a fearsome array of skills and abilities, and the most satisfying of these may be completely unknown to you now. Your curiosity is a dependable guide; follow it. Put yourself in unfamiliar places. Kindle passions. Savor the raw joy of making things, and then remake the best of those things until they take someone's breath away." - Chris Baty

Lovely to read on the first day of 3 weeks of holidays.
Off now to look for some kindling and matches for my passions :-)

Excellent x-mas stockings - spotted in a $2 store at Wynyard Station:

Lots to say right now. But actually had an after-work beer today. Too zonked and beery to type anything coherently. Going to find food instead.

Must up the self-care stakes a bit lately. Am feeling pretty good about life, but have a hunch I've not been looking after myself as much as I could.

One more chockablock day at work tomorrow, then holidays. Yay!

Tomorrow holds a stocktake, 2hrs on desk, assessing sidekicks work and writing up stuff for their next 3 weeks without me (unneccesary I think - but they requested it :-) and setting up for the work Christmas party.

All this in tulle and heels.

Today was in black and boots. A Librarian excursion around the council area. Some keen colleague wore a pedometer - 8kms we walked. Lots of stairs. It's not a flat part of town.

Mr diabetic-overweight-heart-attack kept up admirably, and talked the whole damn way!

Goth-sidekick jokingly complained about being attacked by the nature. Friend at the Depot apologised for 'the boys' behaviour at the Melbourne Cup lunch. Imagine I'll get more of the same at the Christmas thing tomorrow.

Ah man. I wasn't going to write anything. Wups.

More later.

xx

Point form.

No posts for ages. So here's a wee update:

- Work is getting steadily better. Only had 2 meltdowns recently, and am getting a lot more work down. Sidekicks' enthusiasm is slightly infectious, which is a joy! And the newest sidekick has seen me in anxiety attack mode and didn't freak out, which was good.
- A week and a half until 3 weeks holidays. This is also awesome.

- My Ma is coming to stay for a couple of days which is exciting. Then heading off to my sister's new house which could be politely referred to as in the outer suburbs of Sydney.

- I didn't stop eating sugar as a weightloss thing. It was more for my moods as well as giving my insides a break from it. But I noticed this morning that my favourite work skirt is very long, that is, it's sitting low on my hips now.
- Weightloss could be good for my health. But I'm unsure as to how I actually feel about it. Certainly not super-happy like girls are usually trained to feel about it. This may stir up some heavy head stuff.

And speaking of girl stuff...
- I wore pink. ACK! PINK! A ruffled pastel pink tulle skirt no less. I wore it out Kooky dancing and it was good. The only pink I could find in the house to accessorise were a couple of pink buttons from Mr M's great-aunts' button collection, and his 'nipple' badge that I wore on a necklace.
- Some people thought that the skirt was apricot, flesh, mushroom, or beige coloured. Rotters, the lot of them!

- I am already trying to think of good outfits for New Years' Boots are sorted. Have a shortlist for skirts. No idea what tops to wear.
- Am considering every night out dancing as a training camp (Boot Camp Hahaha!) for the all-night dancing of New Years'. So far so good.

Ah, there's probably more to catch up, but I should get stuck into the work day instead now.
xx

Baaa...

Everyone is doing it. I'm bored at work. So here it is.
3 things meme:

THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
Legal Clerk
Sex Tips Columnist
Fish Shop girl

THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
Newtown
Mermaid Waters
North Tumbulgum

THREE SHOWS THAT I WATCH:
The news
Spicks & Specks
Scrapheap Challenge

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN:
Underground
Underwater
Inside your head

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN THIS LAST WEEK:
My desk at work
The Hospital
Sydney Park

THREE PEOPLE WHO EMAIL ME REGULARLY:
My Ma
Ms S
My Boss

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
Broccoli
Coffee (it SO is a food!)
Macadamia nuts

THREE PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
Coogee Women’s Baths
Wrapped up in someone’s arms
On a dancefloor

THREE THINGS I AM HOPING FOR IN THE NEXT YEAR:
Bravery
Freedom
Safety