a few thoughts...and the year in review

Big week...haven't posted since last weekends Creatures Play.
There's a part of me that wishes that I'd gone on the flash boat. And I wish that I'd thought to see if Mr M wanted to/could go without me. He wasn't obligated to Creatures as I was.
I probably could've said no to Creatures. But was glad in the end that I didn't...well, 80% glad *grins*.
I was in a fragile headspace to start the day, but after mucking about with a bit of rope (thanks Miss J for timely offer of ankles) I was feeling a bit stronger. How wonderful to be able to channel the toppy energy when needed. And ?M says there's no such thing as a real switch. Bah!
Anyway, we had a show pony and a wild pony being broken in and a wild bear cub and a morphing kitten/tiger and much fun was had. And much dust and wrestling and I think everyone came away a little happy for exploring it and a fair bit exhausted.
Damn, that first sip of beer at the pub after was great.
And then in the warm evening we travelled across town to another pub to listen, almost indulgently, to Sveta without dancing.

My week at work was urgh, so I left early yesterday and took today off. I try to not run away screaming from bad situations, but I don't feel like being a superwoman this week. My heads' too fragile to tough it out under the conditions there.
Aaah, now I have time free to faff about and sort out cake and food and decorations and everything for my Ma's 50th Birthday on Saturday.
And I now am able to make it today, to a 'Big Meeting' including government sponsored x-mas drinks.
Am yet to get into the excited chrissie frame of mind. Not enough time to dream about it or do crafty stuff.

Ooh, speaking of crafty...may do a flogger making workshop at Queeruption. This would be cool.
Am thinking of dressing super straight girl for it *cheeky grin*

Okay...I saw this on a few other's blogs...so here goes:

2005 - Year in Review
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Anal play
Gave and received my first cuttings

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Not really one for New Years resolutions…if I wanna do some thing, I can make that decision anytime of the year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Umm, no. Not that close.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My partner’s Grandfather did. I’d only met him once, but his death has made a big impression on me.
Also my Grandfather had a dreadful stoke from which he won’t recover, so there has been some grieving there for me, for the loss of who he was.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. I wear travel-bug repellent.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Bravery.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Early January, when I moved to Newtown – still enjoying being here so much!
And the weekend after Mardi Gras…
Other than that…my memory is not really my strongest suite *grins*

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Saying no and walking away from an emotionally abusive relationship, and being clear about not engaging with it again.
Also, trying to let go of it and move on with my life.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Some might disagree, but I wish I’d done a much, much better job on the Mardi Gras float *sighs*
And not keeping in touch with many friends.
And letting work get to me.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Badly sprained ankle that still is giving me gip.
And anxiety is reaching new heights again *grrr*

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Mr M…home with me as often as possible :-)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mr M’s. For consenting to come home with me so often :-)

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
The conservative voting public thinking only of their home loans. The right-wing Christians for their unchristian-like behaviours. And gays and lesbians that cannot accept change and diversity in their community.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Food, Rent, Beer, Transport, Clothes (probably in that order…yes I probably spent more on beer than on frocks!)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Jumping stream and finally living my life as I want it to be…not thinking that there was another better life running parallel to mine.
And falling in love with a gorgeous transman who is cheekier and filthier than me!

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Four to the Floor – Starsailor
Amazing – George Michael
Stuck in a moment that you can’t get out of – U2
Sveta’s version of '7 nation army' – White Stripes

17.a) happier or sadder?
Happier

b) thinner or fatter?
Fatter

c) richer or poorer?
Richer (yeay!…still spent it all though)
Hmmm. I’m Happier, Fatter and Richer…what decadence!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Random fucking.
Flogging.
Bondage.
Swimming.
Housework.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying! Definitely have to stop worrying so much!

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my little brothers…eating chocolate and mangos and lying about reading books. Aaah.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
OH YES! And yes and yes and yes. I am the luckiest girl in the world.

22. How many one-night stands?
Erk, not enough…there was that girls sauna night…3 dildos, 6 fucks, one night. Yum.
And many random nights of club tomfoolery.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Not a big TV watcher, but Law and Order: Criminal Intent…oh Vincent!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Ice maiden at work (don’t know why she’s gone all weird on me? *sings* “a long time ago, we used to be friends…”). I don’t hate her so much, as I hate the way she makes me feel.

25. What was the best book you read?
Intimacy and Solitude – Stephanie Dowrick
Flawed dogs – Berkley Breathed
Country – Tim Flannery
And the soap opera of other peoples gossip blogs *grins*

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Have become a devoted Sveta fan. She’s on the playbill = I’m on the dancefloor. Thankyou Sveta!

27. What did you want and get?
My dream boy!

28. What did you want and not get?
My own place…but it worked out well…I have happy gorgeous home here.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Didn’t really watch any.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
26yrs, and we had a party at my new home. Was trashy and fun and I have memories of wearing a boob tube, having all but 1 of my ex’s there, and being dragged to my room for Birthday floggings by House of Butch. *cheers*

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Probably exercise I’d say…gotta get back into my swimming.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Rediscovered femme! Eek, skirts and girly shoes and flowers in my hair!

33. What kept you sane?
Having an amazing boyfriend with the sharpest mind and the most compassionate heart.
And bloodlust play parties with friends.
And rude high-jinks in clubs.
And having a job that gives me a sense of purpose in the world.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
It’s cliché, but k.d. still does it for me.
Oh and Gwen Stefani, and Vincent D’Onofrio

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
I surprised myself that I cried over the Gay Marriage debate.
And the fact that it’s still okay to discriminate against Bisexuals in NSW! *Grrr*

36. Who did you miss?
My puppy Rami, and yes, companionable silences with my ex, Mr D.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Mr M was, and is, without a doubt, the BESTEST!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Give to charity.
And everything you do has the potential to create history.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"sweet dreams are made of this
who am I to disagree.
everybody's looking for something..."
-Eurythmics


Waddayareckon?
Love Y