(50?) Things every queer Sydney femme should have.

Inspired by Felix’s recent posted link to 50 things every British girl should have.

But I can only get to 40 so far – help me out girls!

1. Black corset – preferably underbust
2. Fishnets – 3 different sizes of netting and some different colours if you can find them.
3. Patent leather mary-janes – chunky soles optional
4. Stilettos you can’t walk in – who’s walking anywhere in shoes like these anyway?
5. Leather wristies and collar – for you or others.
6. Bandanas – flagging colours, or just to accessories with your outfit. Not limited to pockets. How many back pockets do you have in your frocks anyway? Wear them around your wrist, on your handbag, or as a headband.
7. Tulle skirt
8. Spanking panties – see-through or ruffled. You choose.
9. Mens flannie pjs – for the cosy-curl-up part at the end of the play party, or for making the morning coffee in on winter mornings.
10. 2-piece cossies – bikini, tankini, boardies and singlet. Doesn’t matter. As long as the top comes off at the women’s baths.
11. False eyelashes – They always take longer to put on than the entire rest of your outfit. And are always worth it.
12. Floral cotton 50’s frock – for summer promenading down King St and for picnics with tea and dogs in the park.
13. Diamonte jewellery – for glittery bling to dazzle the bois into submission.
14. Glittery eyemakeup – see above.
15. Bindis – yep, more glittery.
16. Home-made harness or other buckled up costuming – Points for custom made. Extra points if you’ve made it yourself.
17. Little leather skirt – for looking tough; or at least for not scaring the boys in manacle toooo much.
18. Fascinators – for when your outfits needs that little lift!
19. Gloves – all sorts: latex for fisting, latex for dressups, cotton for dressups, black leather for choking.
20. Suspenders – sure they look good, but the fun is having a boi dress you… on their knees and fumbling. *giggles*
21. Strap-on – ‘cos you can’t always rely on the lads.
22. Dancing boots – Stomping boots. All night on the floor without blisters boots. Clomping home don’t fuck with me boots.
23. Matching lingerie – Doesn’t matter if it’s a daily necessity or a special treat, everyone must have something matching.
24. Small purse or wallet with wrist strap – for those no-pocket nights on the dancefloor.
25. Toolkit and work area – for hammering together costumes.
26. Jacket – long enough to hide your party outfit from prying cabbie eyes. Not so precious that it can’t be stashed in a corner of the dancefloor.
27. Parasol – for festival days, and at the womens’ baths. Sunburnt décolletage is not so nice.
28. Bright red lipstick – Either of the can’t-be kissed-off type, or the leave lots of lip-prints type. Depending on the evening’s plans.
29. A best boi – not necessarily a primary partner, but someone for coffee dates, to give cuddles and support when needed. Someone to fetch your jacket and make sure you get into a cab okay at the end of the night.
30. Cardie – to keep the chill night air away, and to cover cleavage when people don’t deserve to see it.
31. Glamourous sunnies – preferably retro or with diamontes in them.
32. Apron – for baking cupcakes. Extra points for one that makes your waist look tiny and your boobies look marvellous.
33. Knee-high socks
34. Cotton nightie – for morning-after cups of tea in the backyard in summer
35. Work pants – grubby stained mens’ pants. For looking dishevelled and butch while doing the gardening, fixing the bike, cleaning out the shed or painting.
36. Large scarf – for covering cleavage, sitting on the grass at the footy, and panicky bad hair days.
37. Indian bangles – for those days when you need a little jingle.
38. Something slinky – as in a dress. Conservative, formal, stunning.
39. Pearls – To go with the slinky. Or to wear while being dirty. Or both.
40. Custom made corset – your choice of fabric. No-one better get one made like it, or else.